pavorst:

There’s a problem with this idea of love that I’ve been fed all of these years. The problem is this: I have been taught to think that love is the sudden rush of emotion, this incredible feeling of simply wanting to fall into someone’s arms. And the notion of labelling the various stages of a relationship like some kind of chart sickens me. It’s like, after two months you have to be at this place in your relationship. It’s as though I’m looking for the average signs of what to do next. I’m expecting the flowers and the rooftop poetry and the nonsense that I’ve been lapping up with all this rewatching of people looking into each other’s eyes and just knowing. I understand what’s been missing, all along. What makes all the breaking up so messy, and what makes life after a relationship almost excruciating.

There’s no place for the growth of a good friendship, a good companionship even. There’s no room in my cardboard box cutout idea of what two people in love should do. Because there’s the neutral phase when you feel nothing for someone, and then there’s the looking-across-the-room and then there’s the awkward asking out. But maybe that’s just how I see it ending. Doesn’t it happen that the day after someone breaks up with you, they pretend that the weeks, the months of knowing you just don’t exist anymore? Doesn’t it happen that the way you deal with it is to write them into a fictional story as your villain and somehow find interesting ways of killing them off? Because that’s what I’ve been doing all of these years. All of the people I love have slowly drifted away from me, sometimes pretending that none of what we had ever existed in the first place. And to be honest I’m tired of the lonely gut-ripping feeling that I get when someone I love leaves me.

So I’m resolving to be a friend to someone above all else. I want to stand with someone through the drunken nights and through all of the sorrows that they’ll face. Because in the end that love, the nuanced gradual touch that goes beyond physicality, that’s the love that will last anything. That’s the love that I need to grow, and it’s the love that will accept me as I am. With all of my faults. It’s the kind of love that I don’t need to search for, or change myself to attain. It’s the simple, small love that I will let wash over me, that I will let erode into every pore of my skin until I drown with it.

THIS NEEDS TO BE SAID AND IT NEEDS TO BE READ:

themiserychic:

I logged on this morning and read that several of my followers (we really need a better word, Tumblr) are seriously considering suicide.

I know we don’t really know each other, but we’ve created a special corner for ourselves hear. We’ve become this weird, but special uber-extended family.

I know I don’t know your particular pain, but the thing is, I CARE and I know I’m not the only one. The people in your lives may act like they don’t give a shit, but SOMEONE CARES and NO ONE wants you to die.

We may not know how to make it better, but we know how to listen. PLEASE, you guys, reach out. Talk to me, someone near you, someone online you feel closer to.

I PROMISE all this bullshit WILL PASS if you get through this moment.

BREATHE. Cry. Do what you need to do to get through it, but don’t give up. It’s not worth it.

YOU ARE LOVED.

YOU ARE WORTHY OF LIFE AND LOVE.

-tmc

Gawking

runningislife:

I get some “what the fuck…” looks while I’m out barefooting around town, but it’s funny to see. People just can’t even fathom you are running on feet that are billions of years in the making - designed flawlessly so that you can run on them. They can’t understand the connection you have with the Earth, yourself, and the universe when you are slapping your naked feet on the pavement.

They will never know the emotions swelling in my chest while I weave around tiny rocks my brain notices that my eyes don’t with fox-like agile. And that’s okay. Maybe one day, everyone will be able to share that experience and know what it’s like.

I can only hope.

P.S. 4 miles if you were curious. Something teeny tiny punctured my foot, and it was stinging me. I sat on the grass by the road, picked the little thing out, and went on my way. Twas fun and hearty :)